Bryan's Quotations are the quotations made by Bryan Collins on the NBC TV show, The New Normal.

Season OneEdit

It makes the sound of terminal cancer or my mother pressing me for an intimate lunch.

Bryan in reference to the sound coming from his laptop, Pilot

Oh god. I think I would just die if you called me ‘daddy’.

Bryan in reference to his unborn child, Pilot

See, this fairy tale began in a far away land called Ohio, where four very different people, against all odds, ended up becoming a family.

Bryan, Pilot

Is that when Madonna sings?

Bryan to David, Pilot

Oh my god, that is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. I must have it.

Bryan about the baby in the store, Pilot

You are the kindest man I've ever had the pleasure to love.

Bryan to David, Pilot

Face it honey, abnormal is the new normal.

Bryan to David, Pilot

I would like a skinny, blond child who doesn't cry. Is this extra?

Bryan to Gary, Pilot

We need more people like you walking around in the world.

Bryan to David, Pilot

I faint at the sight of vagina – they're like tarantula faces.

Bryan, Pilot

Jane (To Goldie): What are you doing helping these salami smokers?

David: Wow.

Bryan: That’s a good one. That’s new.


Earlier, when you were referred to the homosexual elephant in the room, you were talking about David, right?

Bryan to Jane, Pilot

I have OCD, you know. Obsessive Chic Disorder.

Bryan, Sofa's Choice

Just one second, just breaking up my two lead characters so I can start a twitter riot... Done! Millions of teen tears.

Bryan to Shania, Sofa's Choice